May 23, 2013

The Importance of Familial Financial Honesty

Money 

Image by Digital Sextant via Flickr

Managing your family’s finances isn’t an easy task. At times, it can be your most stressful job. If the finances have recently taken a downward turn but you’re keeping this news from your children in an attempt to shield them, you’re likely doing more harm than good. The children can likely sense something is wrong within the family’s dynamic and may begin thinking they’ve done something to anger you.

When you’re hiding your financial problems from your children, they’ll continue asking for luxuries you were once able to provide. By continuing to overspend as if a financial problem doesn’t exist, you will only grow your debt and make it more difficult to erase. Instead, schedule a family meeting and be honest about the money-related issues the family is facing. While this discussion will take immense courage, it will be a worthwhile one. The only true way to begin correcting your problems is to face them. Then, when the debt is resolved, you can make healthy financial decisions and serve as a positive financial role model for your children.

Although you may be worried about the effects of your financial problems on your children, it’s actually the perfect opportunity to teach them lifelong lessons. By showing them what went wrong in your finances, you’ll provide the tools they need to avoid the same mistakes in their future. They may even have creative solutions you hadn’t previously considered as to how you can create a brighter financial future for the family.

Admitting to those you love most that you’ve made financial mistakes can be difficult. However, this is the first step towards correcting the problems.

Financial Discussions: Choosing Words, Creating Trust

Children are to be without worry. Finance is to be without concern. These are the beliefs you’ve striven to maintain, trying to ensure that all days are easy.

That ease cannot always be accomplished, however.

Life requires dollars you don’t have and time you can’t give. There are obligations to pay for and debt to contend with; and your bank account is never as full as you wish it to be. You’re unable to meet all demands. You’re uncertain of what to do. And you think you must finally confess your problems. They’re becoming too great to ignore. You fret over how to tell your son of financial follies, though. He surely won’t understand.

He will, though — as long as you:

One: Be Truthful. Your child is to be protected. This is your only desire, has led you to offer happy lies. Such lies can’t be maintained, however. Financial struggles are too hard to hide and they will eventually be felt, even by your son. You must admit their existence therefore, outlining the need for budgets and restraint. Explain what’s occurring and what must done about it.

Two: Be Positive. The confession of money woes is necessary; turning that confession into panic, however, is not. While you must tell your child what’s happening, you must also be certain to offer hope. Stress that the problems are temporary and that they’ll be combated. Assure him that he’s not the cause and that the future will be better.

Three: Be Encouraging. Sacrifice is an unfortunate necessity when finances are strained. All must shape themselves to good sense, reducing costs and saving dollars. Allow your child to become part of that process. Urge him to help with your budgeting; encourage him to voice penny-sparing ideas. These may not be useful to you but they will enable him to feel like he’s contributing.

Communicate your concerns with your child — seeking his understanding, his trust and his support.