June 19, 2013

Posts Comments

You are here: Home / Archives for Family

The Importance of Familial Financial Honesty

June 12, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Money 

Image by Digital Sextant via Flickr

Managing your family’s finances isn’t an easy task. At times, it can be your most stressful job. If the finances have recently taken a downward turn but you’re keeping this news from your children in an attempt to shield them, you’re likely doing more harm than good. The children can likely sense something is wrong within the family’s dynamic and may begin thinking they’ve done something to anger you.

When you’re hiding your financial problems from your children, they’ll continue asking for luxuries you were once able to provide. By continuing to overspend as if a financial problem doesn’t exist, you will only grow your debt and make it more difficult to erase. Instead, schedule a family meeting and be honest about the money-related issues the family is facing. While this discussion will take immense courage, it will be a worthwhile one. The only true way to begin correcting your problems is to face them. Then, when the debt is resolved, you can make healthy financial decisions and serve as a positive financial role model for your children.

Although you may be worried about the effects of your financial problems on your children, it’s actually the perfect opportunity to teach them lifelong lessons. By showing them what went wrong in your finances, you’ll provide the tools they need to avoid the same mistakes in their future. They may even have creative solutions you hadn’t previously considered as to how you can create a brighter financial future for the family.

Admitting to those you love most that you’ve made financial mistakes can be difficult. However, this is the first step towards correcting the problems.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Importance Of Talking Freely To Children

March 24, 2011 by Leave a Comment

It is true that you would feel awkward and strange talking to your child about things such as drugs, sex and relationships. Any mom or dad would start to squirm and stammer when they start to talk on such topics, no need to mention the embarrassment and cornered feeling the child would be going through. It could easily turn into a very awkward situation.

But is it really so? Have you ever wondered that if you talk to your child freely without any embarrassment you would be more close to them? It is something which is very important. When you talk to your child about serious and adult matters you would no doubt feel awkward but it is necessary that you have a good talk with them.

Children can get very curious and so, are very vulnerable to temptations. They can fall into traps quite easily. Keeping these two facts in mind you must explain things clearly to your child. Once the conversations start to flow, it would be much easier and you could feel the atmosphere in the room cool down to a more comfortable level.

You may feel that they don’t need to know much about the topics and may even stop them when they ask questions. Remember that this would only fuel their curiosity more and they would feel very tempted to know what exactly they are dealing with. It would be much better if you tell them about the various factors and situations in life than they finding out themselves about it.

Talk toy our child whenever possible, have a good communication relationship with them and learn to think in their way of thinking.

Filed Under: Communication Techniques, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Being An Adolescent

March 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Have you ever wondered why you always end up fighting with your adolescent with what seemed as a harmless topic? Do you always get the feeling that you are talking to a wall when you are trying to convey some message to your child? Does your child ignore you when you are trying to advice them on some topic? If the answer to these questions are ‘yes’, then you are one among millions of parents out there in the world.

To know your child better you must be an adolescent yourself. This is to say that you should think like them so that you can understand why they are behaving as they are. This way both you and the child would feel comfortable, because you would know what is bothering them and they would feel secure knowing that you understand what they are going through.

Most breaks in a parent-child relationship come in when one doesn’t understand the other. Parents feel that it is their duty to discipline their child while the child feels that their parents are being too old-fashioned. Being old fashioned is a declaration you would have to hear many times in life from your child’s mouth.

To avoid all these, you would have to go back to your own adolescent. Most of the people find that they were even greater rebels than their children when in their teenage years. Once this realization hits them they would have a better time coping with the changes in their child. The others would have to understand that adolescence is a time for exploration, revelations and discoveries.

Disciplining your child is important, no doubt, but it should be in a subtle way. They should not understand that they are being cleverly directed to the right path by you. In this way both you and your child would be happy with life.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Everyday Life Lessons

February 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

There are so many opportunities throughout the week to have casual conversations with your children about the important things in life. It is easy to bring lessons into your life without actually sitting down to have a major talk. Without a doubt, this is the easiest way to talk about hard subjects.

When we are watching television or movies there are always going to be uncomfortable moments that turn into life lessons. If you are watching a program and the star uses drugs or alcohol you can talk about your family’s feelings on those subjects. If your family uses alcohol in moderation this is something important you can talk about. But make sure your children know that using it in moderation is only appropriate when you are of legal age. Illegal drugs should be discussed regularly and you should make it clear that you expect your children to always say no.

Talking about sex can be just as easy. There are many programs and movies that have dealt with the subject of unplanned pregnancy and sex. This is a great opening to talking with your teenager about sex and about abstaining or using protection if they make the choice to not abstain. It is hard, but educating your children about sex is better than leaving them to figure out everything by themselves.

There are many other difficult subjects that can come up in everyday life, use every opportunity to educate your children about life. There is never enough time to help them become responsible teenagers and adults. They will make the best decisions when they have a solid support system behind them and they know what their parents and family expect of them in any situation.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Talking About Drugs

February 15, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Learning about drugs is something that every child will eventually need to learn. The schools do a great job of teaching kids about what drugs are and how to say no, but you as a parent are responsible for doing what you can as well.

One common stat that is quoted is that children who are worried about what their parents will think are less likely to try drugs. This means that every time you emphasize to your children how your family feels about drugs you are helping to produce a drug free adult.

Drugs are out there, and your child will be faced with the choice to say yes, or just say no. If you are able to communicate your beliefs to them, you will produce a child who wants to say no.

We are lucky to live in a time where there is more information available about drugs and the problems they can cause. It is much easier to educate your children about the dangers of drugs now that it was even 10 years ago.

One thing many parents worry about is what to say if their children ask if they (the parents) have ever tried drugs. If you ever did try drugs, you can choose to tell the truth, or you may consider telling a little white lie. Hopefully you can spin the experience into a cautionary tale and give them all the more reason not to try drugs.

Your children will be much more educated by learning about drugs and drug use from their parents. No matter what they learn at school, they cannot learn about your family’s morals and expectations unless the family is involved. This lesson is a great chance for your family to bond and connect, and hopefully make decisions about what is going to be best for your family. No matter what age they are, it’s never too early to begin talking about drugs and their effects.

Filed Under: Advice, General Tagged With: , ,

Questions Accepted: Gaining Trust

January 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Time is not an ally. This is your sad certainty, offered as the hours hurry by, demand your efforts and energy. All seconds clamor for your attention; all minutes are strained. And you can’t recall when you had the chance to simply… stop, breathe, indulge in the quiet. It’s been too long and you’ve accomplished too much — and those accomplishments rarely involve your child.

You don’t wish to be dismissive. You don’t want to shrug away all questions, pleads. But there are obligations you must answer, and you have little time to spare for the inelegant ramblings of a toddler. So you merely smile and send her away, certain the conversations would not have been important. She’s too young, after all. She has no opinions yet to give to you.

And she never will.

Children who are frequently denied by their parents will soon form a terrible realization: they are not important; their ideas do not matter; they should never therefore share them. And they won’t. When youths are ignored they quickly learn to solve their problems on their own, grow weary of being refused. They won’t seek out their families. They won’t believe they can.

And your daughter will suffer from the same misconception — she won’t understand that you’re struggling with a career; she won’t comprehend that your every instant is scheduled. Instead she’ll see you constantly walk away, leaving her questions unanswered.

This destroys all confidence and shatters all trust.

It is important then that you make time for your child. Provide her with long minutes each day to simply discuss what’s on her mind. Don’t force her to rush; don’t demand that she reveal the point. Allow her instead to speak as she must — ensuring her that you are
willing to listen and to give advice. You will have to shift your priorities, but the consequence will be worth it.

Don’t belittle her opinions. Let her offer them instead.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: ,

Teaching Children The Difference Between Wants and Needs

December 19, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Children need to learn the different between wants and needs in life so that they can be able to differentiate between what is needed and what a luxury item is. Many times you may hear your child tell you that they simply must have a certain item and all it turns out to be is something the other kids have or something they feel that they want such as a toy or electronic item. The important thing is to be able to teach them the difference and why it is important to know how to distinguish between the two.

Parents have a responsibility to their children to teach them that you can’t have everything you want as soon as you want it. If children are not taught these things they can grow up to be spoiled and selfish; assuming that they’ll get whatever it is they want. This self entitlement flourishes and can become an issue if it is not taken care of and that starts at home with the parents.

Explain to your children that we can’t always have something and what the difference is between a want and a need. Explain that a need may be new school clothes or lunch money but a want is just something that they would like but do not necessarily need. For instance, if your child just has to have the latest toy this is a good time to explain the difference since the toy is not a necessity in life.

It’s fine to allow your children to have things that they want and don’t need but it’s a good idea to not make it a habit of spoiling them by allowing them to think that they can have whatever they want. Teaching them the difference is helping them grow up responsibly.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Teach Your Children the Value of Money

December 1, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Children don’t always understand the value of money and can think that their parents have unlimited resources. They can’t understand why they can’t have the latest video game or the newest pair of sneakers. It is important as parents to teach your children the value of money so that they understand it better and can relate to why you are telling them no.

First of all it is a good idea to let them know where your money comes from. Teach them about how most people in the world have to work in order to make money and then move on to how you prioritize things. Explain that you have to pay rent or a mortgage, buy groceries, pay for utilities and all of the essentials. This doesn’t mean you have to bore your child with specifics but do explain that you have a certain amount that you make each month and some things come first. A good way to give examples is to start your child on an allowance or allow them to do chores for money. This lets them see for themselves that money is made by working for it and it will show them that they have to save up for certain things or they have to prioritize.

This doesn’t mean you can’t still treat your kids to that favorite game or new shoes but it will show them that money isn’t something that you have unlimited resources of; something children don’t understand unless you show them.

There is no problem with starting with younger children either. The earlier you start, the better chance you have of teaching your children responsibility with money and things related to money. School age children are perfect to start teaching about money and it can help them out for as long as they live.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , , , ,